[He means to answer the first time. He means to answer the second time, but he can't. He's slumped back against the front door, halfway to the ground with his knees bent. He breathes hard, slow, but only because he's forcing the panic down. He means to answer, but he can't even look toward the stairs. A sob bursts out of him like a yelp, shattering the silence, echoing off of hardwood; after that, his breathing picks up again.]
[ Charlie's at his side as quickly as he can be, that wretched sob ricocheting off the walls. He crouches down at Neil's side, forces an arm between his back and the wall behind him to curl around his shoulders. ]
Jesus, Neil...
[ It's not judgmental, not exasperated. Only desperate for this world to give him a break. It's supposed to be a good place for them now. ]
[ It's not up to guys like them to help people who've been overtaken and turned into monsters. If it happened to Neil or Flat, Charlie would think differently, act accordingly, but anyone else? Forget it. There's plenty of superpowered people here who can handle shit like that.
Neil's not like that, though. His heart's too big, and it's cracking in half right in front of Charlie. ]
[ Charlie shifts his body, wraps his other arm around the front of Neil to try to pull him in for a seated, sideways hug. Really, he'll hold Neil any way he can, any way Neil wants him to. He'd hold him like this right here for the rest of the day and night if that helped even a little bit. ]
If you tell me, I'll figure out someone we can tell to help.
[Charlie's right - oh, and he can hold Neil however he wants to; the boy positively sinks into him. He finds it hard to speak for another second, another two seconds, three- Suddenly, he pulls away, teary gaze going urgent, though his lips still tremble.]
I think I saw- Well, I saw him as this was all starting, and then-
[Everything about Neil softens in this miserable way. He can look so uniquely crushed, more profoundly heartbroken than anyone those around him have ever seen. He's gripping Charlie at the arms, knees feeling weak. Tears welling up new, he keeps his eyes on Charlie, helpless, pleading.]
[ Have any of them ever gotten to say it like that?
Charlie can't remember ever hearing it. From Neil, or himself, or any of their friends. But there's no reason to keep up appearances here, posture like they did in front of the guys or keep a stiff upper lip like they had to with teachers and parents.
Charlie wraps both arms around Neil's shoulders and pulls him in to tuck his face into the curve of his neck, leaning his cheek down on top of mussed brown hair. ]
It's a scary place. People were right, I guess. [ If he sounds bitter about that, it's because he is. ] So we'll be scared together, and we'll figure it out, Neil. Promise.
[ The way Neil sobs it out rips a hole straight through Charlie, heart tearing into tatters.
What can he do about it, in the end? Hold on tighter. Try to protect Neil from what he can, and learn to live with everything he can't.
Neil's still such a gangly thing, all limbs, and Charlie's always been stronger. He yanks him straight into his lap, almost like a crying child, and wraps him up tight enough to keep everything else out. ]
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Jesus, Neil...
[ It's not judgmental, not exasperated. Only desperate for this world to give him a break. It's supposed to be a good place for them now. ]
What happened?
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Charlie. I didn't mean- Things have gotten so-
[He can't think. He closes his eyes shut tight, tries to latch onto whatever coherent line of thought he can.
[Unfortunately, it's this:]
They're people we know. Those things!
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Neil's not like that, though. His heart's too big, and it's cracking in half right in front of Charlie. ]
Who'd you see out there?
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[ Charlie shifts his body, wraps his other arm around the front of Neil to try to pull him in for a seated, sideways hug. Really, he'll hold Neil any way he can, any way Neil wants him to. He'd hold him like this right here for the rest of the day and night if that helped even a little bit. ]
If you tell me, I'll figure out someone we can tell to help.
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I think I saw- Well, I saw him as this was all starting, and then-
[Come on, Neil. Spit it out.]
It's Qifrey... Others too, but... [Qifrey.]
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[ Shit. If a guy like that can get caught up in this...
They really, really shouldn't be out and about. ]
He knows everyone here. Someone will help him out. This shit's not up to us, Neil.
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You're right. There's nothing we can do. [How miserable is that? He practically slaps the tears away from his eyes.] We'll just stay put.
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[ It's a quiet admission, and the way he grabs one of Neil's wrists to pull his hand away from his face is equally gentle.
His gut twists, an age-old wound of having to sit by and do nothing while people suffer festering. Some shit really is the same as it was back home. ]
You can be upset about it. Cry if you wanna. Who's gonna judge you? Me?
[ His smirk is subdued, watery, and he brushes his knuckles against Neil's wet lashes. ]
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I'm so scared.
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Charlie can't remember ever hearing it. From Neil, or himself, or any of their friends. But there's no reason to keep up appearances here, posture like they did in front of the guys or keep a stiff upper lip like they had to with teachers and parents.
Charlie wraps both arms around Neil's shoulders and pulls him in to tuck his face into the curve of his neck, leaning his cheek down on top of mussed brown hair. ]
It's a scary place. People were right, I guess. [ If he sounds bitter about that, it's because he is. ] So we'll be scared together, and we'll figure it out, Neil. Promise.
we can wrap up here soon if you wanna
[He can't do it again. He can't stand hating his own life. He doesn't want to.]
At least I have you. [God, at least there's that, but still, all this...]
Charlie... [A plea.]
cries ohhh wrappin..... poor NEIL
What can he do about it, in the end? Hold on tighter. Try to protect Neil from what he can, and learn to live with everything he can't.
Neil's still such a gangly thing, all limbs, and Charlie's always been stronger. He yanks him straight into his lap, almost like a crying child, and wraps him up tight enough to keep everything else out. ]
I've got you, Neil.